Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Say something about gay babies.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
