I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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