idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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