Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
