i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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