The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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