The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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