Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
