I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
