nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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