Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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