Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
