oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
