My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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