meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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