I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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