Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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