There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
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Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
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I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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