I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it's like iHOP with fire
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
