you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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