Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Non-Jews are for practice
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
