I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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