Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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