i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
