I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
