Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
