I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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