you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
