Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
