What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Someone shattered a urinal.
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Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
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I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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