p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
