Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
