I got chris browned last night
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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