Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
