It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
