It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
