Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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