she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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