This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
