I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
