your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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