if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
