At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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