i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Are my feet made of real feet?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
