I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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