Small penises have feelings too.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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