Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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