we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
