I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
