Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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