i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
