the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
