Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
