Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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