the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
