I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize