you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
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I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
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I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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