Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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