I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
